How Savers and Spenders Can Meet in the Middle
Couples who have opposite philosophies regarding saving and spending often have trouble finding common ground, and money arguments frequently erupt. But you can learn to work with — and even appreciate — your financial differences.
金钱习惯根深蒂固
If you’re a saver, you prioritize having money in the bank and investing in your future. You probably hate credit card debt and spend money cautiously. Your spender spouse may seem impulsive, prompting you to think, “Don’t you care about our future?” But you may come across as controlling or miserly to your spouse who thinks, "就这一次, 你就不能放松点吗? 我们需要一些东西!”
Such different outlooks can lead to mistrust and resentment. But are your characterizations fair? 金钱习惯根深蒂固, and have a lot to do with how you were raised and your personal experience. Instead of assigning blame, focus on finding out how each partner’s financial outlook evolved.
Saving and spending actually go hand in hand. Whether you’re saving for a vacation, 一辆车, 大学, 或退休, your money will eventually be spent on something. You just need to decide together how and when to spend it.
讨论你们的分歧
Sometimes couples avoid talking about money because they are afraid to argue. But scheduling regular money meetings could give you more insight into your finances and provide a forum for handling disagreements, helping you avoid future conflicts.
You might not have an equal understanding of your finances, so start with the basics. How much money is coming in and how much is going out? Next, work on discovering what’s important to each of you.
To help ensure a productive discussion, establish some ground rules. 例如, 你可以设定一个时间限制, insist that both of you come prepared, and take a break if the discussion becomes too heated. Communication and compromise are key. Don’t just assume you know what your spouse is thinking — ask, and keep an open mind.
你的理财风格是什么?
Source: Consumer Financial Protection Bureau
Here are some questions to get started.
- 金钱对你来说代表什么? 安全? 自由? 帮助他人的机会?
- What are your short-term and long-term savings goals? 为什么这些对你很重要?
- How comfortable are you with debt? This could include mortgage debt, credit card debt, and loans.
- 你应该把钱花在谁身上? Do you agree on how much to give to your children or spend on gifts to family members, 朋友, 或慈善机构?
- What rules would you like to apply to purchases? 例如, you might set a limit on how much one spouse can spend without consulting the other.
- Would you like to set aside some discretionary money for each of you? That could help you feel more free to save or spend those dollars without having to justify your decision.
就计划达成一致
Once you’ve explored what’s important to you, create a concrete budget or spending plan that will help keep you on the same page. 例如, 来解释两种观点, you could make savings an “expense” and also include a “just for fun” category. If a formal budget doesn’t work for you, find other ways to blend your styles, such as automating your savings or bill paying, prioritizing an emergency account, or agreeing to put specific percentages of your income toward wants, 需要, 和储蓄.
并记录你的进步. Scheduling money dates to go over your finances will give you a chance to celebrate your successes or identify what 需要 to improve. Be willing to make adjustments if necessary. It’s hard to break out of patterns, but with consistent effort and good communication, you’ll have a strong chance of finding the middle ground.